“He was quite gifted in the old department”
Former Arsenal defender Colin Pates had about 30 pebbles stuffed inside his penis by a teammate after passing out drunk, as per Daily Star.
The former Gunners player was said to be well-endowed and had fallen asleep on a sofa in the lobby of Meon Valley Country Club after a night of boozing in the early 1990s.
His Arsenal teammate Jimmy Carter saw the perfect opportunity to prank the passed-out Pates.
David Hillier, who was a Gunners midfielder at the time, described the hilarious events that unfolded on the Undr the Cosh podcast:
“In the reception at this time, Colin Pates has fallen asleep on a chaise lounge. This is our last night at the Meon Valley Country Club, and obviously they loved having us there.”
He continued,
“I don’t know how it’s happened, but in the morning Colin Pates wakes up on this chair – and Colin Pates had quite a…he was quite gifted in the old…department, right.”
“But he had a lot of skin on the top of it, so Jimmy Carter decided he’d fill it.”
“You know those little balls you get that they put around artificial plants? Like little f***ing marbles. He put about 30 of them in Patesy’s foreskin. So Patesy wakes up with this big heavy weight.”
“And he’s laying in reception, everybody coming in the hotel has seen him. His old man’s out, it’s full of these things in the end of it that Jimmy’s stuffed in it.”
That wasn’t the only chaotic event to have occurred that weekend.
Hillier went on to detail a fight that broke out between Michael Tomas and Paul Dickov on the coach.
He also revealed that Gunners legends Tony Adams and Paul Merson mistook a stranger’s room for their own through their drunken antics.
Merson also apparently sprayed a woman with a fire extinguisher after she poured cold water on him.
Hillier now works as a fireman and perhaps he would have been better suited with the equipment in his hands.
He retired from professional football in 2002 having made 119 appearances for the north London outfit, scoring two goals and providing eight assists.
Arsenal’s start to the season is no joke
Arsenal have started the 2022-23 campaign in sensational fashion as they sit top of the Premier League table.
Mikel Arteta has overseen six wins from seven in the league and are unbeaten in the Europa League.
A potential title challenge is now becoming a real possibility.
If you told Arsenal fans they would be in a race with Manchester City for the title before the season, they may have thought that you were pranking them.
They next face Liverpool at the Emirates Stadium on October 9 looking to keep the winning momentum going.
Paul Merson predicts Arsenal vs Liverpool and other EPL GW 10 fixtures! Click here
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